Whether you’re trying to reduce the hurt for your ex-partner or need to keep on good terms for the kids, many of us want to make divorce as amicable as possible.
But there is a lot of emotions built into a divorce, which can often make seeing eye to eye – or even sitting in the same room as one another – difficult. Whatever the circumstances for your divorce, here are four tips for an amicable separation.
In order to keep things out of the courts and within a calm setting, it’s important to prioritise what you want from the divorce process. Joint decisions need to be made about how assets – like the family home – will be split (will one parent keep ownership while the other uses the divorce money to find somewhere new), how much you want to spend on the divorce, and, of course, and the type of arrangements you want to make for child custody.
By prioritising both parties’ key wants and needs, you can re-focus even when things start to become heated.
Use a mediator
If things are heated, or the divorce was caused by a specific negative event, it might be easier to discuss things in the presence of a mediator. Hiring a mediator means both parties will be required to attend the same appointments, but this means you don’t have to spend all your time stressing, discussing, and worrying outside the meeting.
Between appointments, you have the chance to think about what was discussed, try different scenarios out, and see what works for the both of you.
You’ll be surprised how helpful a mediator can be when it comes to focussing the conversation and getting the job done.
Hire a divorce lawyer
Most divorces are amicable and far away from the tabloid-style affairs we’re used to seeing from celebrities. But even amicable partners can benefit from hiring divorce solicitors. A solicitor that specialises in family law is particularly helpful for those looking to make financial arrangements for their children, as this can prevent problems arising further down the line. Grant Stephens Family Law can help mediate and check out any documentation or arrangements you’ve made so that you have peace of mind before processing the divorce.
Focus on what you can control
Depending on the reason for divorce, you may find yourself highly angry or emotional. Or, you might find your partner is struggling to express their emotions in a calm manner. Divorce is an extremely stressful and difficult thing to go through, but it’s important to focus on what you can control. While you can’t control what your ex-partner will do or how they’ll react, you can control how you act and what you say.
So, whether or not you’re the one who has initiated the divorce, both parties have an important part to play if you want things to stay amicable. Try to put emotions aside and stick to the admin so that you can get the process out of the way and focus on healing.